The Golden Phoenix
by Woodrokiro
Summary: She blinks at him. "So Winry thought it was best to leave me alone in the care of a stripper." AU LingFan. Rated T for light sexual themes.


**A/N:** Inspired by paninya on tumblr's prompt where Ling is a male stripper by the stage name of Golden Phoenix and Winry hires him for Lan Fan's birthday. Dear Christ I have a feeling this will be a two shot what have I done how did it end up like this it was only a prompt, _it was only a prompt_.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, Tale of Two Cities, any of Jane Austen's work, or the flawless "treat yo'self" line.

...

Lan Fan should have expected this. She really, really should have.

A couple of things in this equation added up together explain why she should have expected this:

1. It was her 21st birthday. She still doesn't exactly see why it deserves a hurrah, but the drink in her hand tastes pretty good so she guesses it's not too bad what is this agai-

2. Winry had insisted on throwing the party.

3._ Winry Rockbell was throwing the party_.

And she loved Winry, truly she did. She loved Paninya, too, even though she didn't know the latter very long... But. But. Put their two heads together and people are in for trouble. People as in Lan Fan. Which explains how the two girls ended up on Lan Fan's doorstep with alcohol-flushed faces and wobbly knees at two in the morning a couple of nights earlier, threatening that they wouldn't leave until she promised that her twenty-first birthday party would be thrown at Winry's apartment because _we all know what you're gonna end up doing otherwise Lan Fan, you're gonna stay at home with your tea and your books all alone and we cannot have that because we _care. "Treat yo-yo'self," Winry had croaked out to her as designated-driver-Ed dragged her back to the car.

In their defense, she could have easily said no. She could have indeed had a lovely night with her worn books and her warm tea with _maybe _a _teensy_ bit of whiskey thrown in to celebrate her legal ability to consume alcohol-but they both had seemed so eager to throw something together for her and maybe she _did_ need a party thrown for her once in her life in which she could just enjoy being in the company with friends she cared about and wouldn't judge her if she had one more sip of wine than necessary. Maybe she did need to "treat herself" a little more.

Still, she was expecting maybe a civilized get together of seven girlfriends at most.

She was not expecting a rautious party consisting of not only her friends, but her friends' friends. She did not foresee what looked to be twenty different bottles of alcohol to choose from on the kitchen table. She did not imagine the pop music blasting from the speakers to suddenly shift to R&B music with a slower rhythm. When a finger taps her shoulder, she did not expect to see a grinning young man suddenly appearing before her in the living room, asking if she'd like see a golden phoenix rising for her birthday and Lan Fan sees from the corner of her eye Winry grinning lewdly and she just _knows_.

She doesn't remember much. All she does remember is suddenly she's gently prodded to a chair and there are screams and a very drunken "get it, girl! Get that Golden Phoenix!" from Paninya in the crowd and woah hi there very nice abs please don't get that close to her face (or do; who is she to stop them?) and there's lots of green floating in the air around her oh hang on that's money but wait suddenly butt _oh god is that a butt yes that's a butt in a red thong with gold letters spelling out "rising" along the waistband and_-

And then Lan Fan faints.

...

"You know, you're the first girl I ever made swoon. Literally."

Lan Fan wakes to find herself in Winry's room, with Golden Phoenix sitting at a respectful distance at the bedside, (thankfully) fully clothed now and munching on a pizza slice. Over his shoulder she can see that the bedroom door is open, and further down the party is still thriving. She rubs her eyes groggily.

"How'd I get here?"

"Well, you fainted. Your friend that invited me was freaking out and I carried you to the bed, set you down and lied you on your back. Better circulation that way. Or something like that."

She finally sneaks a glance at him from beneath her hands and curses Winry for knowing her type so well. Long hair tied in a low ponytail, dark eyes, a body with a certain lithe and muscular grace- she can only imagine he's rather good at his (er) trade. And then she realizes how bizarre a circumstance it is that the very attractive stripper whose butt was just shimmied in her face is suddenly so casually relaxed at her side.

She blinks. "So Winry thought it was best to leave me alone in the care of a stripper."

He laughs- a deep-throated, hearty snort-laugh that she wouldn't expect to come from someone of his sultry occupation but is also nonetheless one of the most sincere she's ever heard. "No, in her defense she fought a bit. Well, in the intoxicated state that she was, she was really worried about leaving us alone. But I explained to her I knew all this stuff because my little sister's reading up on being a doctor someday, and I told her that you just needed some air away from the crowd. I kept that door open just in case she or anyone else wanted to check up on you, make sure I wasn't doing anything fishy." He finishes up his pizza crust, wipes his hand on his pants and holds it out to her. "Name's Ling."

Mind still hazy, she stares at it. "I thought you were Golden Phoenix."

He laughs again, and against her better judgement she thinks she could get used to the sound of that laugh. "Nah, just a stage name, Miss. By night I'm Golden Phoenix, and by day I'm Ling Yao. A little more boring, isn't it? I've considered officially changing it, but not too sure my parents would be keen on that one. My sister would refuse to associate with me."

Lan Fan thinks she may have heard that name before, but she doesn't pay too much mind to it as she carefully shakes his hand. "Lan Fan. And thank you... You know. For knowing what to do and taking care of me."

"Don't worry about it," he shrugs with a smile, "Least I can do after making you do it in the first place, eh?" She blushes.

"Ah, well I'm sorry I was probably one of your... Worser clients. Winry didn't tell me, in fact I didn't know she was was even throwing me this kind of party until I came tonight, all I wanted was to just curl up with a boo-"

He waved it off. "Hardly. One woman tried to take off the thong with her teeth, and in the process bit me. It was fun looking back, just kind of startled me-" he stopped when he saw her mortified expression, then grinned. "Besides, you were really cute. What book were you gonna read?"

Lan Fan tries to process what he asked through the echo of _cute_, _cute_, _cute _running through her head. "Oh. Um, I don't know, I was going to decide between _Frankenstein_ and _A Tale of Two Cities_." She winced. Should have said _Pride and Prejudice_. That's cute. Austen's cute. Jane Austen is a respectable author, don't get her wrong, but it just would have sounded so much cuter to say to a guy than books about gore and monsters-

Then she asks herself why she was questioning her choice of books for a guy she just met in the first place.

"Ah, so you're a classic romantic. What's that one line from _Two Cities_? 'It is a far, far better rest that I go to than I ever knew...' something like that, right? You read contemporary stuff too?"

She nods in her bit of shock.

"Cool." He grins, just staring at her for a moment until she fidgets a little and he gets up. "Well, I better be leaving. I'm sure I've overstayed my welcome, and your friend wouldn't be too pleased about having to pay me extra for just talking to you."

"Oh. Um, you want me to go get her so she can..?"

"Nah, don't worry about it. It's on the house. Consider it both a birthday present and a medical damage refund. But," he looks around until he finds a pen on the bedside table, then reaches into his pocket, reconsiders and simply takes her hand. "If you need anything else, you can reach me at this number."

"You mean if I faint again?" she asks dumbly.

"Ha! Sure. Or, you know... Anything else. Like a date, if you want."

"Isn't that against your-er- job policy?"

He grins and winks deviously. "You didn't pay me, so there is no job policy in this situation. Besides," he adds while capping the pen, "I'm not really one to let rules get in the way. 'Screw the system,' or so they say. If I like a girl then I'll want to give her my number and that's all there is to it. I always let her have the choice by giving it instead of asking for it, so you can choose whether or not you wanna call me. Well," he mock salutes with a smile, "See ya later, hopefully? Happy birthday, Lan Fan!" He disappears into the party crowd, and she hears a few squeals from the guests before Winry comes rushing into the room on unsteady legs.

"Well, was everything okay?! What were you talking about? Did he treat you well? What happened?"

She blinks, still staring at the place he was last standing. She looks at the digits written on her palm. "My birthday happened, Winry." She deadpans. "My birthday happened."

...

Later the next day, Lan Fan fiddles with the phone, debating what she should do next. He's not the kind of guy she would think she could get mixed up with. She's not sure she's the kind of girl he thought she was when he met her at the party. She's not sure the two of them could make as good of a pair as she's secretly imagining them to be.

But then, there's his laugh...

She sighs, gripping the phone. "Treat yo'self," she whispers, and yes she feels ridiculous saying it but she'll be damned if it isn't an addictive mantra-

She dials and waits.

...

**A/N**: I have a feeling Lan Fan would be a book nerd as well as a martial artist in another life? Ja feel? Hopefully ja feel. Please review!

**Update:** Jesus how embarrassing I just realized I wrote Lan Fan's "wedding" instead of "birthday" in the summary I'm sorry I'm an embarrassment I fixed it I promise


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